November 10, 2009

Feminity and essence of womanhood

Don't you think that the environment in which we are brought up, affects us most? I know, I know, age-old debate and all that - conditioning and inherent qualities and all that, but I really do believe that conditioning - both conscious and unconscious - molds us to a great deal. I mean 'My Fair Lady' is a great celluloid piece and all that but it takes a lot of effort to de-learn all the 'unwanted' and learn the 'much needed'. It takes a lot to be a 'lady'. Where am I going with this? Well, I was going through my awe-inspiring drafts folder and came across this snippet. I don't know what transpired when I wrote this, so the above para was just a sort of introduction/explanation for the snippet.

I remember (and for some strange reason whatever I remember of my childhood school days is always in technicolor) watching my mom comb and style her long glorious hair and wishing that I too inherit her hair when I grew up. I remember her perfectly draped saris, perfectly rounded nails - both painted and unpainted, her musical laugh - so lady-like. I remember hoping that I would be a lady just like her when I grow up. I guess for every little girl, her mother is the fairy queen. Much as she might rebel in her teenage years, she will try to emulate most of what she remembers/sees still as the magical quality that she thinks makes her mother such a lady. And its not all appearances - handling pesky, nosy relatives, managing a household, arguing gracefully without raising her voice - yes, we all wish we could be like our moms in almost all areas. She is the epitome of femininity and the way she takes care of her family, makes time for her work, your school and your extra-curricular activities without stressing it out defines for you what being a 'lady' or a 'woman' really means. And it got me wondering today - am I today what I wanted to be like when the young and idealistic me defined what a 'lady' is?

Nope. A firm no. Nowhere miles near. But is that still how I want to be - the basics of it - yes! Surprising, isn't it? All these years and still the notion for me about what goes to make a perfect woman is still the same?

Do you have an ideal for what a perfect woman is?


Nu said...

Umm...never thought of ideal lady / woman like whom I would want to be or I compare whether I'm like her today or not... I think idolizing anyone would only give us directions to be a person close to that idol but would never make us exactly like that...we are unique ..every one..and that's the specialty ! ;)

Cynic in Wonderland said...

You know i have this theory that girls go through this phase where they are completely the antithesis of their mothers and then eventually end up becoming like them. My mother thinks i am a changeling for instance - i hate dressing up, jewelry and all that feminity jazz. but as i grow older i sneakingly see the merit of that.

anusia said...

When I was kid, I used to follow my elder sister as my mother did not do follow any style.


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