April 25, 2008

Ode to the odious octopus, encountered enroute to bangalore

This is to the anonymous guy who was our (me and hubby) seat-mate on our way to Bangalore. You would think cranky kids, squalling babies and snoring OTH people are a nuisance. Well, try this one out for size. He drove me nuts and I was so so damn bugged that me, ME, wrote a poem about it. Don't kill me once you read it (a couple of lines or the whole thing), coz I was depressed as hell and not too sane.

The Ode to the odious octopus
The silence of the night, dark and velvety, marred by a sigh,
deep and heartfelt, contemplating the end of the journey, that seems
no nearer than when I started. Hurry I say,
Hurry, coz my mind is ready to burst at its seams
I yearn for the blessed quiet, the restraint
that I am trying hard to find and keep
Before I punch, kick- do bodily harm,
to the fucking compulsive clucking creep.
My seat-mate, the ingrate, my fellow-traveler
of this empty endless sky
clucking and chak-ing away these glorious minutes
when peace and quiet should hold sway
of your mind and soul, living in the moment
forgetting about the imminent busy day
But no, every minute punctured by the inevitable cluck (chak)
I take a deep breath when all I want to do is
hurl him into the dark velvety void, the schmuck.

I know that your loved ones are waiting, unlike mine
worrying about the tardiness, of this beastly airline
Or maybe you are late, for an appointment you want to keep
So cluck not, every passing minute, my sore brain cells weep

Can you not sense the hostile stares, the fraying
tempers, that might turn into violence
if you don't stop mich-miching? Come on, are you not aware
that there is more beauty in silence?
Oh you idiot, stop it now, whatever reason you are doing
this for, for its more harm to you than me
Me, I Zen, and I will space out, but pray
what will you, uncouth stranger, gain out of this lunacy?
Your mind is not free to flit about
where you might find peace, beauty. But you continue
to cluck. In this silence, it is as bad as a shout.
I bear you no ill-will, but I hope that some day,
someone will come along - someone with less manners than I -
and that they will do it: give you your due,
and I pray, I pray that that someone will be I.

April 16, 2008

Right to Information

Ok, picture this:
  • Post-appraisal, a colleague at the coffee machine suddenly tells you about his appraisal status/increment/promotion, asks you yours and has you squirming in the midst of what was inane coffee-time talk.
  • Walking around in the i-finally-lost-the-Diwali-5-kilos haze, you bump into a friend/anyone, and drop down to the hard earth when she goes into the ooh-you-havn't-changed-a-bit monologue.
  • Aunt/distant female relative asking conspiratorially, when are you going to give us good news?


I mean, there should be a law: upon asking people their pay packets / raise amounts / appraisal rating, they should be fined almost the equal amount. Same goes for people who ask how much money you have invested and stupid questions like 'what is your worth?'. I mean, hello, aren't you satisfied that TV channels/newspapers/financial websites spend so many man-hours calculating and re-calculating Mukesh Ambani and company's net worth every time the sensex dips or rises? And especially those people who would want to TELL you their weight and how they reduced it. Please, if I wanted to know, I would ask you, or trick you onto a weighing machine or (more likely) kill myself over my uneventful life.

Btw, on meeting someone, why can't you just say how nice they look and stop at that, instead of exclaiming over how much weight has been lost/gained [either leads to weight reduction/gain methods and advice and such other crap]. Don't you hate it when I people ask "Still single?" or "Found someone yet?". Ya right, like the first thing anyone would do is yell about it from the rooftops. Or maybe they ask coz, whatever the answer, they have advice to give.

So, if you want to be in my good books then read on. Also included in my list of strict no-way-you-are-going-to-get-a-straight-answer questions and no-no topics are:

  • Info about your health with details that make me want to ask if the thing you are suffering from is, hopefully, life-threatening
  • Family/spouse tussles and inter-familial info
  • Inane topics like is love marriage better than arranged
  • Family planning [yours or mine]
  • My career plans [unless you are taking my interview]

It is funny how, in India, we bindass comment on things like weight [extremely rude to westerners] and personal financial details whereas we baulk while discussing religion or politics [both of which are topics for open debate in the west]. Years of poking our noses in others' business, you say? Nosey heritage? Well, carry your nosing to a place where I am not around.

April 8, 2008


Know that feeling when you are on the verge of getting those perfect nails and then one of them chips off? Why oh why, only one of them? Two would give me as much grief as one, but double the motivation to trim off the others. But one??? After three days of mourning, still haven't found the heart to clip off the others. You know those people (read rickshaw-walas) who have a really long/overgrown thumbnail? The one that they sometimes paint? Well, I can do the opposite right? Keep one of the nails clipped short and the others long? Sad vain lazy bitch, you say? All this ado about a chipped off nail? How much can it matter to a ex-nail-biter? More than it can to non-ex-nail-biters. How is this all FYI? Umm, now THAT part I don't know.

April 2, 2008

Ooooh!!!!! I want I want....

I love this house!!! Isn't it just lively and pretty? You can find more pics here and here.

It is so pretty and colorful. Makes me think that my home needs more color :) Although..
[Hubby will be the first person to point out that I am tiresomely addicted to flights of fancies that last not more than a couple of days]. But come on, look at this house and tell me who wouldn't like it?
I enjoy visiting both these blogs and really wish I had an eye for beauty like they do. Speaking of other bloggers, am working on a blogroll since a month. Will put up in another couple of days. Its a really long list so thinking of more like a post instead of all the links in my sidebar.

Seriously, though. Wouldn't you just looooove to live here?


Still updating the blog theme. Will get down to the blogrolling and all soon.

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