Right to Information

Ok, picture this:

• Post-appraisal, a colleague at the coffee machine suddenly tells you about his appraisal status/increment/promotion, asks you yours and has you squirming in the midst of what was inane coffee-time talk.
  
• Walking around in the i-finally-lost-the-Diwali-5-kilos haze, you bump into a friend/anyone, and drop down to the hard earth when she goes into the ooh-you-havn't-changed-a-bit monologue.
  
• Aunt/distant female relative asking conspiratorially, when are you going to give us good news?
  

Arrrggghhhhhhhhh.

I mean, there should be a law: upon asking people their pay packets / raise amounts / appraisal rating, they should be fined almost the equal amount. Same goes for people who ask how much money you have invested and stupid questions like 'what is your worth?'. I mean, hello, aren't you satisfied that TV channels/newspapers/financial websites spend so many man-hours calculating and re-calculating Mukesh Ambani and company's net worth every time the sensex dips or rises? And especially those people who would want to TELL you their weight and how they reduced it. Please, if I wanted to know, I would ask you, or trick you onto a weighing machine or (more likely) kill myself over my uneventful life.

Btw, on meeting someone, why can't you just say how nice they look and stop at that, instead of exclaiming over how much weight has been lost/gained [either leads to weight reduction/gain methods and advice and such other crap]. Don't you hate it when I people ask "Still single?" or "Found someone yet?". Ya right, like the first thing anyone would do is yell about it from the rooftops. Or maybe they ask coz, whatever the answer, they have advice to give.

So, if you want to be in my good books then read on. Also included in my list of strict no-way-you-are-going-to-get-a-straight-answer questions and no-no topics are:

• Info about your health with details that make me want to ask if the thing you are suffering from is, hopefully, life-threatening
  
• Family/spouse tussles and inter-familial info
  
• Inane topics like is love marriage better than arranged
  
• Family planning [yours or mine]
  
• My career plans [unless you are taking my interview]
  

It is funny how, in India, we bindass comment on things like weight [extremely rude to westerners] and personal financial details whereas we baulk while discussing religion or politics [both of which are topics for open debate in the west]. Years of poking our noses in others' business, you say? Nosey heritage? Well, carry your nosing to a place where I am not around.